30 May Parental alienation – a gender issue?

We continue to see prolific and gender biased misinformation about the serious psychological abuse and coercive control dynamic – commonly referred to as ‘parental alienation’ – which renders so many precious and vulnerable children ‘hostage’ in a post separation landscape.

Where they are simply not allowed to maintain a close loving attachment bond with one of their parents due to the aberrant and pathogenic parent practices of their other parent. Usually, although not exclusively, their resident parent.

It seems appropriate, therefore, to run a little trial.

To see whether anyone reading this article can accurately determine from which parent each comment actually came from.

Can you tell if these heartfelt pleas have come from an alienated mother OR from an alienated father?

Which is which?

1. It’s horrible to be in this position and nothing can be done about it. My ex-partner was able to manipulate our two kids to lie and said it’s ‘their choice’ not to see me. My youngest was only three. How does he even know he doesn’t want to see me?
2. I have a Child Arrangements Order in place. I have followed all directions stipulated in the court order. The … is playing emotional games by refusing to let me see or speak to her. Changing dates & times to suit … My daughter is sometimes very distant and says things which are out of character for a four-year-old.
3. Cafcass, Social Services and the courts have NO idea how to deal with this type of abuse and actually allow the abuse to continue
4. My … put every conceivable obstacle in the way, including psychologically turning her against me
5. My son will be 16 yrs in October. I have been estranged from him since he was 14 yrs. There appears to be no help or support for parents in my situation.
6. Breaks my heart every day, ….. told me … would punish me for leaving
7. My situation is hell on earth because their …….. is allowed to poison the minds of my children.
8. Living with the social stigma every day is mentally draining. People are convinced I must be in the wrong; why else would my own children not want any contact with me”?
9. The police had wished they had some law to help. The psychologist stated it was the worst case of parental alienation she had seen and yet the judge would still not allow the term to be used in the court room.How can a ……..lose ….. son like this? It makes no sense.
10. I have one little girl who has unjustified fear, the other unjustified anger. The Cafcass report was thrown out of litigation for not answering WHY? The PA framework was ignored even with every sign of it being validated in the report. The girls, when given space, cuddle up to me and need me yet, in front of professionals and their …, can’t think of one good thing to say about me.They are even pushing away the family they love. If the children were black & blue, they would have acted by now, yet the emotional psychological damage can do more long-term harm and they ignore the signs.
11. I strongly feel that my case is coercive manipulation. My son and I had a very strong bond however his …has over a period of years damaged it and manipulated him to the point where he no longer wants to see me.
12. It’s heart breaking to think of my daughter’s childhood being ruined by this
13. My mental health deteriorated significantly and it has taken a lot to still be here even with my current family.
14. Families are being destroyed by this abusive behaviour, and the damage is infinite.
15. This whole situation has ruined my life. My kids are my world and my reason to wake in the morning. Without them, I’m nothing

It’s imperative we understand that parental alienation is NOT a gender issue. It’s a serious child protection one.

If we fail to address it, we fail to protect children from psychological harm.

That would be unforgivable.