29 Oct The denial of parental alienation destroys safe mothers as well as fathers…
Our case study below is shared with permission from one of hundreds of safe, loving mothers who have faced exactly the same psychological abuse and coercive control as fathers do.
Dr Adrienne Barnett stated that when these aberrant parental behaviours affect women it is a ‘strategy of domestic abuse’ and we agree wholeheartedly. The behaviours, however, are exactly the same as those facing victim fathers.
Gender bias is obfuscating a massive child protection issue. This is not a gender issue and it is disgraceful its been made into one, because parental alienation results in serious psychological harm for victim parents and children alike.
That is why parental alienation must be included within our new Domestic Abuse Bill.
“I’m an alienated mother and was prevented from seeing my beautiful and much loved children due to parental alienation, for eight long and terrifying months.
The day after my ex-husband told me I wasn’t going to get any contact – he called the CMS so he could claim full maintenance from me. I was the one who had a good career and was well paid.
He fed our children lies to turn them against me. Our beautiful children were told;
- I was bipolar & a danger to them
- I was abusive & an alcoholic.
- They were asked if they wanted to live in a happy house or a negative one (i.e mine).
My ex told me he ‘encouraged contact’ yet did everything in his power to obstruct it. I have a very professional job and am certainly not an alcoholic or an abuser. His false allegations could never been proved and they were made up solely to undermine the close relationship I shared with our children
He stopped all our precious time together, breaching the Child Arrangements Order, saying it was to ‘protect the children’.
They didn’t need protection. They only needed to be able to see me, their mother.
I was forced to go back to court again & contact with my daughter was reinstated immediately. My son however was so upset / angry / psychologically manipulated, that it took a lot longer.
The effect of this ongoing campaign of denigration has resulted in my beloved children being scared of me. It is heartbreaking yet no-one is listening.
My daughter was advised by them to consult a hanging crystal to help her make the right decision as to who to live with. She was only ten. Moving to her dads, she moved schools & left her gymnastics. She had been on the elite pathway & trained 6 days a week. She gave up so much.
I now have some contact but my ex-husband blankly refuses to do any of the dropping off or collecting even though he lives 30 – 40 mins away.
When my children visit, his new wife constantly texts them, asking if ‘they are ok?’ To make them feel there’s something to be concerned about when they are with me. The children have blocked my number and they have had no contact with any of my family.
It’s exhausting, heartbreaking and never ending. We are always waiting for the next drama, the next false allegation, the next time they are unable to visit and enjoy part of their childhood with their mother and my side of their family, who love them”.
If our new Domestic Abuse Bill fails to include this abuse, the most brutal any parent can enact on a safe loving co-parent, it will have failed. Failed to protect victim mothers and fathers. Failed, most especially, to protect vulnerable and precious children.
That would be unforgivable.