16 Apr Why we must raise awareness of the insanity of parental alienation
We believe it’s a scandal that children, precious and vulnerable, are prevented from maintaining close loving bonds with both parents and wider family post separation, by one parent determined to expunge the other parent from their child’s life.
Children need secure attachments with both safe parents in order to live their best life. To reach their highest potential. To be their own beautiful and authentic selves.
Children’s neurological and social development is optimised by growing up with a secure attachment to more than one carer. It ‘takes a village to raise a child’ yet in alienation cases, the entire half of a child’s familial heritage is wiped out.
While the drivers behind the deliberate (or unconscious) intent to alienate a child can be complex and rooted in psychological / pathological disorders; the net result for the child is always the same.
A child who suffers the sudden or cumulative disruption of a previously warm and nurturing attachment with a parent, suffers deep lasting, endless grief. Trust issues. Depression. Anxiety. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – the effects of their attachment disruption and trauma. Suicide ideation. Drug and alcohol issues. Promiscuity.
Unsurprisingly, they also usually suffer severe self-esteem issues since half of who they are has been repeatedly vilified and denigrated.
Is this what we want for our children? Our future generation? Have we lost our senses?
There are evidently vested interests in not addressing this toxic issue. The immense level of damage caused to children, target parents, grandparents and wider family – is underpinned by distorted gender narratives and obfuscation. Gender biased academics and faux journalism. Financial interests. Yet the overall cost to our society by turning a blind, politically correct eye to the mental health fall out, is incalculable.
The supreme irony of this gender biased propaganda (i.e. PA is only a ‘tool used by abusive fathers’), are the thousands of alienated mothers also prevented from loving and seeing their own children by the exact same abusive behaviours that fathers and their children also suffer from.
Make no mistake. This is not a gender issue. It’s a child protection issue. A mental health issue. A legislative issue. A public health issue of scandalous proportions.
When did we lose our understanding of the importance of all family members? The role they play in a healthy happy society.
The Scottish First Minister inspired us when she stated that ‘the success of a county is measured not by its GDP but by “the health, happiness and well-being of its citizens”.
It’s common knowledge our GDP will be massively contracted post COVID19, however there is much we can do to restore well-being which isn’t finance related. We need to build community. Compassion. Love. Mutual care and consideration. We need to restore alienated broken families.
In a post separation landscape, peer reviewed studies by Professor Neilson show that children can do equally well emotionally, academically, psychologically as children in intact two parent families – providing they have at least 35% time with their other parent.
Who could not want this positive outcome for children? They are our future and we ignore this at our peril and to our childrens’ grievous loss.
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Our children deserve so much better. We are currently failing them.